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  1. Oge

    January 1, 2022 at 1:23 pm

    Great piece.

    Reply
  2. Ayomide

    January 1, 2022 at 6:58 pm

    awesome! I found this refreshing to read.

    Reply
  3. Cirphrank

    January 1, 2022 at 8:08 pm

    Victory forget all these yarns, wire me small make I take hold my side this January.

    Reply
  4. Olayemi Takuro

    January 1, 2022 at 9:07 pm

    Love love ettt! No truer words!

    Reply
  5. Evelyn

    January 2, 2022 at 12:14 pm

    This is so good. Thanks for sharing✨

    Reply
  6. Obehi

    January 2, 2022 at 11:09 pm

    Glad I came across this

    Reply
  7. Proph Kay

    January 3, 2022 at 12:45 pm

    Finally, someone takes my rather “disruptive” thoughts and puts in some really polished writing.
    I have always had my aversion to several “widely accepted” norms and standards, simply because one day, I suddenly realized that these things were once personal opinions, and reflections of just one person’s private sentiments. And these grew into suggestions that suddenly spread all over the globe, and boom, it’s become societal standard, a norm, worse still, a law even. Crazy scary, if you ask me.

    Amazing piece, Victory. Hit several black and white notes of relativity, I must confess. Q

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      January 5, 2022 at 8:17 am

      Your comment makes me feel less alone in my thought process. Thank you for reading!

      Reply
  8. Emmanuella James

    January 4, 2022 at 7:34 am

    This was such an enjoyable read. The writing is stellar and I could relate to every paragraph. Great work

    Reply
  9. Livinpraiz

    February 12, 2022 at 6:47 pm

    Wonderful insight victory wrights

    Reply
  10. Omon

    February 12, 2022 at 7:13 pm

    Life can be so much more, really. But sometimes only a sated stomach can recognize that it is.
    It was a good read.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      February 12, 2022 at 8:44 pm

      True. It’s hard to focus on anything else when the stomach isn’t fed.

      Reply
  11. Chinelo

    February 12, 2022 at 7:25 pm

    ??

    Reply
  12. Pearl

    February 12, 2022 at 7:26 pm

    Nice

    Reply
  13. Isioma Okobu

    February 12, 2022 at 7:27 pm

    “We want to be rich enough to buy the moon and then we`ll be happy and so, we just let our lives pass” so sad ?? I’m grateful for this piece

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      February 12, 2022 at 8:42 pm

      I’m glad you read it. I hope we all find contentment.

      Reply
  14. Happy

    February 12, 2022 at 7:31 pm

    Your kisses are my hallelujah and I transcend has got to be my favorite line in the poem. A really beautiful piece

    Reply
  15. Happy

    February 12, 2022 at 7:35 pm

    People most especially Nigerians have not yet gotten the understanding that not everyone is going to be stinky rich or rich in general. No matter how hard a person tries, it jus might not be his destiny. Why not settle on being comfortable and contented. A really beautiful piece, I wish a lot more people could read it.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      February 12, 2022 at 8:39 pm

      True. We are often so obsessed by the idea of materialism that anything else feels lacking. Thank you for reading.

      Reply
  16. MudEEE

    February 12, 2022 at 8:06 pm

    Inspired me

    Reply
  17. Niel

    February 12, 2022 at 10:50 pm

    Inspiring ??

    Reply
  18. Paula

    February 12, 2022 at 11:07 pm

    This is nice ?

    Reply
  19. Grace

    February 21, 2022 at 9:10 am

    This was really inspiring, thanks for sharing

    Reply
  20. precious

    February 22, 2022 at 11:26 am

    thank you.

    Reply
  21. precious

    February 22, 2022 at 11:42 am

    Reply
  22. Mercy Omoruyi

    February 25, 2022 at 9:43 am

    Amazing. Cheers to being open to love even with the possibilities of being served.

    Reply
    • Truth

      February 26, 2022 at 11:56 pm

      Its all cruise but subconsciously we internalize the fear?

      Reply
  23. Victory

    February 25, 2022 at 10:31 am

    “We should always be ready to accept the level of vulnerability that comes with genuine love”??

    Reply
  24. precious

    February 25, 2022 at 6:47 pm

    cool. ❤

    Reply
  25. Maaruf

    February 25, 2022 at 10:27 pm

    ?
    “Love will always imply some level of
    vulnerability. “

    Reply
  26. Lulu

    February 25, 2022 at 11:28 pm

    Cool ??

    Reply
  27. Brobbey

    February 26, 2022 at 6:12 pm

    ❤️

    Reply
  28. Niya

    February 26, 2022 at 6:20 pm

    The first paragraph ? the second, the third, I definitely needed to read this, cos I’ve been inside for too long because I’m trying to avoid accidents ❤️

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      February 27, 2022 at 4:48 pm

      I’m glad you read. I hope you find the courage to go outside soon ?

      Reply
  29. Rakiat

    February 26, 2022 at 7:50 pm

    More ink to your pen! Irrespective of the breakfast being served, cheers to being open to love and be loved.

    Reply
  30. Sophia Nazz

    February 26, 2022 at 9:12 pm

    This is really beautiful

    Reply
  31. Esther Okunowo

    February 27, 2022 at 10:50 am

    Right on point. Great work! ?

    Reply
  32. Omotola

    February 27, 2022 at 12:33 pm

    Nice Nice

    Reply
  33. Francesca

    February 28, 2022 at 8:43 am

    This is a very thoughtful write up.

    We use cruise to mask up important things… I have people say it’s the best survival skill one can have in this country. But we are then oblivious to the fact that our subconscious self is taking in some really harmful contents.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      March 3, 2022 at 7:14 am

      True. We give up genuine human experiences just to survive. It’s an awful trade.

      Reply
  34. Habib Danesi

    February 28, 2022 at 12:22 pm

    This is brilliant. Lol.

    Reply
  35. Sunshine

    March 4, 2022 at 6:23 pm

    Lol.
    This. Gives. Me. So. Much. Peace.

    Reply
  36. Sunshine

    March 4, 2022 at 6:24 pm

    I can relate to every line and it’s soothing to know — see — that I’m not alone. Lol.

    Reply
  37. Omowunmi

    March 4, 2022 at 6:25 pm

    This is beautiful!

    Reply
  38. Verena

    March 4, 2022 at 6:38 pm

    I really needed to read this today. Thank you Victory❤️

    Reply
  39. Lakez

    March 11, 2022 at 6:45 am

    Very poignant line, access is different from connections. Social media is creating this bias where we think we can be friends with a lot of people just because we happen to have online times that overlap, there is no bigger lie than this. Friendship is much deeper.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      March 11, 2022 at 7:02 am

      Indeed! We end up reducing the quality of the friendships we have because we want to have so many.

      Reply
  40. Kimella

    March 11, 2022 at 9:16 am

    “You cannot be friends with everyone you know.” Very correct. Social media can give us access to so many people, but it doesn’t guarantee deep connections.

    Reply
  41. Eseosa Abiodun

    March 11, 2022 at 6:05 pm

    Exactly! Apparently, nothing lasts forever!
    And this applies to everything.
    Including Friendship!
    We all have to understand and live with that.

    Reply
  42. Emmanuella James

    March 11, 2022 at 6:06 pm

    Love this piece very much

    Reply
    • Victor Powei Subor

      March 21, 2022 at 7:22 am

      This was so worth reading. I liked the fact that you spelt out the realities on the topic and also picked out what to focus on, and not holding too tightly and having rigid expectations.

      Thank you for writing this, Victory.

      Reply
      • Victory Okoyomoh

        March 21, 2022 at 7:39 pm

        I’m glad you found it worth reading. Thank you for checking it out.

        Reply
  43. Hamy

    March 11, 2022 at 6:18 pm

    ‘More important is making the most of the time you have with anyone’…. Noiceee

    Reply
  44. Eseosa

    March 11, 2022 at 6:19 pm

    We all make changes at one point in our lives and I think it affects the friends we have, some friendships make it past the changes, some don’t. That doesn’t make any less valuable.

    Reply
  45. M.jay

    March 11, 2022 at 6:41 pm

    This piece is lite
    Nice one Vic

    Reply
  46. Michael Ayomide

    March 11, 2022 at 6:58 pm

    This is profound!

    Reply
  47. Bilqis Olatinwo

    March 11, 2022 at 7:46 pm

    So relateable and realistic.Nice piece

    Reply
  48. Osose

    March 12, 2022 at 7:04 am

    Wow! This speaks so much truth. Great job Victory!

    Reply
  49. Isaac Idehen Ugiagbe

    March 12, 2022 at 7:43 am

    I’ve lost friends. People I thought would be there for a long time, or at least till now, but then, life happens. Only validating this article….not all friendships or relationships in general are meant to last forever.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      March 12, 2022 at 6:55 pm

      The beauty of it is, we ultimately will find those who will stay. It always turns out okay ?

      Reply
  50. Adiel

    March 12, 2022 at 7:59 am

    Sam Smith once said “…. real love is never a waste of time” . I comfort myself with these words every time a friendship ends. Although I may miss them, but the times we were happy together were never a waste, and so

    It is okay.

    Thank you for this piece Doctor Wrights?

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      March 12, 2022 at 6:56 pm

      Thank you for reading, and sharing these beautiful words ?

      Reply
  51. Faith

    March 12, 2022 at 8:54 am

    “You cannot be friends with everyone you know”…
    It’s okay to have classmates remain as classmates and the likes..
    Wonderful piece.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      March 12, 2022 at 6:56 pm

      Exactly. Everyone should play the roles they are meant to. Thank you for reading ?

      Reply
  52. Verena

    March 18, 2022 at 7:17 am

    I love this so much, Victory. I’ve been trying to put together this dark love poem for a while but never got the strength. This sort of inspired me to finish it?. This is a truly lovely poem❤️❤️

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      March 18, 2022 at 6:42 pm

      Thank you so much Verena ?

      I’d love to read that piece when it’s finished ?

      Reply
  53. Victoria

    March 18, 2022 at 10:55 am

    But let me try my Love???

    Reply
  54. Onaolapo Michael

    March 18, 2022 at 10:04 pm

    There’s no science for this kind of love, but I think I want to try it too. ??

    Reply
  55. Grace

    March 19, 2022 at 2:14 am

    Let my body be your coffin and your final resting place.

    There is no science for loving you, but let me try, my love.

    ??

    Reply
  56. Kendris

    March 25, 2022 at 3:21 pm

    -Validation would always remain a yardstick for assessment of our actions.

    –“Just do it, and don’t mind what anyone says or thinks” but then??

    -Be open to criticism and don’t be deterred about people’s negative comments but rather consider it as ornamental

    Reply
  57. Victor Powei

    March 26, 2022 at 6:32 pm

    Worth reading as always. Thank you for this piece Victory.

    Reply
  58. Damilare

    March 26, 2022 at 7:01 pm

    Hmmm this was a good read, but here’s my take on Validation. I believe one of the major needs of every human being is the need for “Acceptance” (in your case you called it validation). I agree with the ideology that days humans needs some kind of validation it helps the man stay alive. But I didn’t find the perfect balance for this article. Firstly it’s because I believe Acceptance is a psychological need, while validation in my understanding is not essential. I think if you replaced Acceptance with validation, we’d be on the same page. For instance Feedback from people on this article is not a matter of “Acceptance”, if we don’t like this it won’t affect your social life but perhaps affect productivity positively or negatively. Nevertheless, it was well written and I understand your communications.

    With love
    Dami

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      March 26, 2022 at 8:39 pm

      Thank you Dami, your insight is well appreciated. I do see the line you draw between acceptance as a psychological need and inessential validation.

      My employment of the term “validation” instead of “acceptance” is because it’s the more familiar term in this context and my usage of it actually intentionally quite loose.

      However, you did also point out that the presence or absence of validation in the way you’ve highlighted it does have some sort of impact. While it may not be an established psychological need, its effects on productivity, as you pointed out, still matter.

      I’m grateful for your input, it got my brain churning ??

      Reply
  59. Obehi

    March 27, 2022 at 7:37 am

    Great food for thought…..especially for someone who’s made a resolution to stop seeking validation.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      March 27, 2022 at 5:44 pm

      Haha, there’s no need to throw it all out the window. Some of it might be helpful ?

      Reply
      • Obehi

        March 31, 2022 at 10:09 am

        Yeah…..hence the great “food for thought”.

        Reply
  60. Daniel Ereyi-Usoh

    March 27, 2022 at 12:55 pm

    Very insightful read I must say. In as much as validation is not necessarily a bad thing, I think we should strive to not make it the basis to scale all our actions.

    Reply
  61. Oghenekevwe

    April 14, 2022 at 10:32 am

    This is an amazing poem man!!!!!!!

    Reply
  62. Joy

    April 15, 2022 at 3:05 pm

    Definitely enjoyed reading this… It’s the last sentence for me

    Reply
  63. Lakez

    April 15, 2022 at 3:38 pm

    I will like to upset the apple cart. “There is no perfect love, just imperfect people who are on the mend.”

    You don’t have a soulmate, really sha. ???

    Reply
  64. Mo.T

    April 15, 2022 at 4:04 pm

    Why does everyone assume people who are looking for soul mates are looking for some perfect person? What if it’s not about the perfect factor? What if it’s something else?
    You meet like 50 guys, and somehow, they all end up boring you, and, now, you’re looking for…..more. From personal experience, sometimes, all they’re looking for is…..more.
    Not everyone is naive as to be waiting, or looking, for a perfect person anymore. Sometimes, we just want more, dammit.

    Sorry.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      April 15, 2022 at 5:22 pm

      Hi! There’s no need to apologise for your perspective. It’s valid and I welcome it, so thank you ?

      The concept of a soul mate does imply either a perfect person, or a perfect bond. Something ethereal that doesn’t require work. At least, that’s how I perceive it.

      My perspective isn’t meant to invalidate yours, but I also didn’t mean to imply settling with just “anyone”. That it’s possible doesn’t necessarily mean that you should, it just requires new perspective.

      I suppose I should’ve stated it but I assumed it went without saying and that’s my bad ?. I did highlight the importance of finding someone whose values align with yours.

      There’s nothing wrong with wanting more, I’m just pointing out the reality that “more” may look different from what you imagine.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me ?

      Reply
  65. Adiel

    April 22, 2022 at 10:03 am

    For the first paragraph I imagine a goth who wears too much eye makeup. He’s sniffling softly because of his allergies.
    He can’t even look her in the eyes as he hands her a withered rose…..
    And for some reason I put The Weekend’s Out of Time as the song for it?
    I love how delicate this feels yet there’s so much emotion.
    Once again thank you Doctor Wrights ?

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      April 22, 2022 at 11:35 am

      I like the picture you paint. It adds depth to the lines I’ve written.

      Thank you too ?

      Reply
  66. Mojisola

    April 22, 2022 at 10:30 am

    Very beautiful.

    Reply
  67. Zimoni

    April 29, 2022 at 2:09 pm

    Hi Victory. I quickly came to check this out because The Perks of Being a Wallflower is one of the books I started out with when I newly fell in love with literature. It is a warm book. And as you said, a sad kind of warm but warm none the less. And warmth is what our hearts need. I remember crying at my thoughts of what might happen to one of the characters. Lol. I just want to say I’m grateful for books and how they open us to ourselves.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      April 29, 2022 at 6:47 pm

      I’m grateful for books too, and persons like you who read them. Thank you for sharing ?

      Reply
  68. Adiel

    April 29, 2022 at 4:46 pm

    Somehow I think your writing has made me find my safe space. It’s like every single thing I ever felt and thought, is finally coming out and I can tell myself I’m just a human person too and all these things, they’re real, and I’m not weak to feel them and be exactly who I am.
    As always
    Thank you Doctor Wrights ?

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      April 29, 2022 at 6:54 pm

      I’m glad you read my writings and feel this way about them. I feel this way about the writers I read often and I can definitely relate, so thank you too ?

      Reply
  69. Alezamdrea

    April 30, 2022 at 10:29 am

    Thank you for this, Victory!

    Reply
  70. Richmond Esosa

    May 7, 2022 at 10:04 pm

    Beautiful piece! Pray for comfort for you Bro?

    Reply
  71. May

    May 13, 2022 at 7:33 pm

    Needed to read this today. Thank you, Victory.

    Reply
  72. Ethereal

    May 13, 2022 at 7:39 pm

    ❤️

    Reply
  73. Chantelle

    May 13, 2022 at 8:27 pm

    I actually needed this…thank you❤

    Reply
  74. Otis

    May 13, 2022 at 9:45 pm

    Reply
  75. Bilqis

    May 13, 2022 at 11:50 pm

    Very nice read. And a beautiful reminder too

    Reply
  76. Damilare

    May 14, 2022 at 9:58 am

    Good one victory ✌️.
    For whoever is struggling with Time Management. You can get ‘No Excuses’ by Brian Tracy or ‘Eat That frog now!’ By the same author.
    Time is one of your greatest treasures don’t let Instagram and tiktok steal it.

    Reply
  77. Thalia.

    May 15, 2022 at 7:01 pm

    Love it!

    Reply
  78. Cirphrank

    May 15, 2022 at 10:59 pm

    Keyword: accountability.

    make “gen Z” dey read and learn abeg.

    Reply
  79. Mojisola

    May 27, 2022 at 7:52 pm

    This is one hundred percent real. Cancel Cancel Culture!

    Reply
  80. Nathatcher

    May 27, 2022 at 8:28 pm

    Nice work ☺️

    Reply
  81. Ayo

    May 27, 2022 at 8:57 pm

    This was a delight to read. Well done Victory I genuinely enjoy reading you write.

    Reply
  82. Godswill

    May 27, 2022 at 9:07 pm

    This is very ture and cancel culture can be cancelled but it would still be the same thing repeating itself. Cancel culture would be cancelling their own culture and still shutting people up for having an opinion.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      May 28, 2022 at 9:04 am

      Haha. I hoped someone would point this out. It’s a bit of a loop ?

      Reply
  83. Obehi

    May 27, 2022 at 9:47 pm

    Haven’t read truer words in a while. Cancel culture also breeds hypocrisy and kills originality.

    Reply
    • Ebuwa Ohenhen

      May 27, 2022 at 11:20 pm

      I agree.

      Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      May 28, 2022 at 9:03 am

      Kills originality ?
      Herd mentality isn’t ever the best.
      Thank you ?

      Reply
  84. Uwa

    May 27, 2022 at 10:54 pm

    This is so enlightening and a good read

    Reply
  85. Etin-osa

    May 28, 2022 at 12:05 am

    Great piece.

    Reply
  86. Aro kehinde

    May 31, 2022 at 7:34 am

    This is lovely and I really enjoy every bit of it.

    Reply
  87. Rashyd

    May 31, 2022 at 9:57 am

    Nice work bro
    I like how you choose to start up conversations we mostly shy away from… And you do it so eloquently

    Reply
  88. Derhmee

    June 11, 2022 at 8:54 pm

    Victory, you write so eloquently that every line creates a picture and as I read through they are set in motion, one which didn’t stop even at the end of the last line.

    Reply
  89. Ether

    June 11, 2022 at 8:54 pm

    This feels like it was written for me, I didn’t realize that I was an anxious lover until I read it ?

    Reply
  90. Victoria

    June 11, 2022 at 10:12 pm

    ????

    Reply
  91. Isaac Idehen Ugiagbe

    June 13, 2022 at 10:14 pm

    “I keep looking for you in every person I meet”

    Why can I relate to this so much ??

    Reply
  92. Ifeoluwa

    June 14, 2022 at 2:29 pm

    Thanks for this great piece Victory

    Reply
  93. Adroit

    July 8, 2022 at 9:15 am

    This is beautiful bro.It’s worth a second read and more..

    Reply
  94. Ayomide Michael

    July 8, 2022 at 3:47 pm

    Ah I was wondering why I haven’t seen your post in a while. Funny how I deeply get you. Just yesterday my girlfriend was asking why I have become so edgy and less caring and it stuck me that it’s because everything I have come to love I have sold out to make money from and now I no longer love anything. Everything is just work and all that shit. Lol. I have too much on my desk and too little in my account. It’s supposed to be a sacrifice yeah? This youth i mean. We are supposed to sacrifice our youth for a better tomorrow or so. But Omoo.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      July 10, 2022 at 10:23 am

      It’s crazy man. Combining everything is never as easy as it seems.

      I hope we find peace in the chaos ?

      Reply
  95. Okoro Victoria

    July 15, 2022 at 6:22 pm

    Happy birthday in advance dear.

    Reply
  96. Hedwig

    July 15, 2022 at 6:24 pm

    Love it!
    keep it up!

    Reply
  97. Zimoni

    July 15, 2022 at 6:41 pm

    Hey vee, I’m smiling while writing this comment. We have a lot ahead of us. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by the magnitude of responsibilities ahead but if we only focus only on those we make our existence centered just on bleak necessities. We would not be fair to ourselves that way. So let us take out time to listen to the echoes of the mountains, express every emotion as they come, watch the sky turn blue to grey to yellow and everything beautiful. Life is beautiful. Take your time and live it. Happy Birthday to you ???

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      July 16, 2022 at 4:23 am

      “If we only focus on the magnitude of the responsibilities ahead, we make our existence centred just on bleak necessities and we would not be fair to ourselves that way”

      Such true words that I’m going to try to remind myself of often. Life is truly beautiful. Thank you ?

      Reply
  98. Nora

    July 15, 2022 at 8:34 pm

    Comment*
    I have battled with birthday depression for a long time now and I thought it was just something only I felt. Days to my birthdays I am filled with trepidation and gloom and I can’t seem to come out from the depression.
    I turned a new year this July and it was worse than ever. It provoked me to write something about it. I just wish I could be as happy as everyone else and simply enjoy the beauty of my birthdays

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      July 16, 2022 at 4:26 am

      Hey Nora, I’m sorry you’ve had to struggle with this. I have too and it’s honestly no delight. You deserve an amazing birthday celebration and I hope you’re able to find the strength to enjoy the next one.

      There’s a lot to be thankful for. I hope you’re able to see this truly ?

      Reply
  99. Bilqis

    July 15, 2022 at 8:46 pm

    Happy birthday in advance Victory.
    This post is very relatable and i always try to make those who experience same feel better , but i hardly do for myself. Thanks for this beautiful post. I hope you feel happier and happier for this and many more birthdays.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      July 16, 2022 at 4:27 am

      Thank you!

      I’m jealous that you hardly ever experience it and I’m happy for you too. Birthdays should be delightful and I’m glad you have that ?

      Reply
  100. osamu

    July 15, 2022 at 9:43 pm

    Happy birthday in two days, Victory.

    Reply
  101. Deborah

    July 15, 2022 at 10:25 pm

    Happy Birthday in advance, Victory.?❤️

    Reply
  102. Mojisola

    July 16, 2022 at 6:39 am

    This is a very lovely post? I have the birthday depression almost every year too, my birthdays have just always been a reminder of the things I haven’t done, you know? The recent one though, in May, when I turned 22, i wouldn’t say it wasn’t depressing, cause it kind of was; all my friends weren’t around, and I spent it alone, but the step-up that I think it had over other birthdays, was the fact that I didn’t dwell in the depression. I made sure to keep pushing it to the back of my mind, not giving it any light of day, to fester. But, in that sense, and reading this post now, I see that it is not exactly a full progress, because I didn’t deal with it, that is, I didn’t think about the good things, I just pushed the bad things to the back of my mind. Which, if I’m being really honest, is really not all that better either. But what your blog post have done for me, is, one, helps me see that i am not alone in this (the comments :)), and, two, I am going to try to be better about my birthday next year.
    (I’m really sorry I’ve turned your comment section to a mini blog post, lol?, this topic just really speaks to me, and a lot of others, apparently)

    Thank you for this❤

    Oh, and happy birthday in advance.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      July 16, 2022 at 7:01 am

      I’m glad I shared this. Honestly, comments like yours make me feel like I’m not alone too. I like to remind myself that it’s a work in progress. Maybe your last birthday wasn’t awesome, but the next one could be and it’s up to you.
      I don’t mind you turning the comments section into a mini blog post, I’m just happy to hear your thoughts?
      Thank you for reading, and thank you for the birthday wish ?

      Reply
  103. Rozmarie

    July 16, 2022 at 11:07 am

    ❤❤❤❤

    Reply
  104. Emmykingz

    July 16, 2022 at 7:25 pm

    Beautiful. I feel it every time, good to know I’m not alone haha. I occasionally get me gifts and go somewhere different to help me feel better but I almost always work all day on my birthdays to keep me distracted (as usual).

    Thanks for sharing as mine is few months away and I can’t predict how I’d feel by then. I’ll keep my fingers crossed this time?

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      July 17, 2022 at 7:17 pm

      I’ll keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best for you man. Thank you for reading ?

      Reply
  105. Xoxo

    July 16, 2022 at 7:27 pm

    This is sooooooo relatable.. I hope you’re happy tomorrow, but even if you aren’t, I hope you know that I’m rooting for you ?

    Reply
  106. Dorcas

    July 16, 2022 at 8:45 pm

    I actually smiled when you said your birthday gift would be not giving in to birthday depression.
    I love how raw this is. I thought I was the only one that feels this way. My birthday is also this month and I’ve been masking the birthday depression with superficial happiness.
    I’d try not to give in to birthday depression this year?
    Thanks for sharing this.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      July 17, 2022 at 7:18 pm

      I’m rooting for you. Us July babies deserve happy birthdays. I hope yours is delightful ?

      Reply
  107. Chantelle

    July 16, 2022 at 10:09 pm

    I hope you have a splendid day tomorrow ?Happy birthday dear?

    Reply
  108. Omah

    July 17, 2022 at 12:55 am

    This year’s birthday was the only one I was genuinely excited about before it even came for the past 3 years.

    I thought I was the only one who experienced this. I find solace in knowing I’m not alone.

    I think what happened differently this year was that I finally came to terms with the fact that growth is not as terrible as I thought it was. A new season should be exciting and the fact that I get a shot at another year to stretch onto greater things? Amazing..

    Happy birthday in arrears Victory?

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      July 17, 2022 at 7:22 pm

      I love all you said. Growth isn’t as terrible as it seems ?
      Thank you for sharing

      Reply
  109. Ifeoluwa

    July 17, 2022 at 11:26 am

    Happy birthday Victory ???

    Thanks a lot for talking about this.

    Reply
  110. Ibrahim

    July 19, 2022 at 4:51 am

    Belated birthday victory!

    Reply
  111. Juno

    August 18, 2022 at 1:20 am

    Great read, as always ??

    And, justice for the non-lovers of plantain ?. This open discrimination will not be condoned. You’ll hear from our lawyers soon ?

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 18, 2022 at 1:39 am

      Thank you ?

      I’ll only be hearing from your lawyers if they like plantain too ???

      Reply
  112. Jennyfa

    August 19, 2022 at 12:02 pm

    I just came across this piece and fell in love with it.❤

    I might pardon you for not liking fried plantain…but when you don’t take onions?that’s a no no!

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 19, 2022 at 6:28 pm

      Thank you for reading ?

      Some things are unforgivable??

      Reply
  113. Ede

    August 19, 2022 at 6:34 pm

    Awesome ?

    Reply
  114. Femi Ore-Ewi

    August 19, 2022 at 6:44 pm

    Nice post. My first contact with the word TALKING STAGE

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 19, 2022 at 6:54 pm

      Thank you for reading.

      It’s really your first contact? It was almost all I heard about for a while. I hope this was a good enough introduction at least.

      Reply
  115. Mojisola

    August 19, 2022 at 6:45 pm

    I know I’ll probably be cancelled for this ? but what the h*** is all the fuss about dodo? I’m sorry (not sorry), but I just don’t see it.

    Barring that, this is a really great post, and as always, you touch on the really important stuff with grace and open-mindedness, which is what we all need from random blog posts like these❤

    So, yeah, talking stages don’t necessarily ‘fail’, the person’s just not my (your) person ?

    (Lemme comman run away before the dodo lovers that are already gathering in the comment section come and attack me?)

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 19, 2022 at 6:52 pm

      ??? Dodo is goated, please. Premium stuff.

      Thank you for reading, it means a lot. And I’m glad you see my side too. They are just not my (your) person and that is okay.

      Reply
  116. Oghogho

    August 19, 2022 at 6:45 pm

    Interesting read. Nice perspective.
    But what’s up with this obsession for fried plantain? ?

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 19, 2022 at 6:53 pm

      Thank you for reading ?

      What’s not to obsess about? ?

      Reply
  117. Uwa

    August 19, 2022 at 7:17 pm

    Haven’t had much talking stage this year but I’m happy to know that they are no failed talking stages.this was a great read

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 19, 2022 at 8:40 pm

      Thank you for reading ?

      Yes. Every talking stage accomplishes something. In that way, they don’t really fail.

      Reply
  118. Michael Kojo Onaolapo

    August 19, 2022 at 7:17 pm

    Nice read, again, Victor.

    Reading your post is always like a confirmation of my thoughts.

    Thanks for always sharing your thoughts.

    And yeah, dodo is goated!?Even though i don’t take it much.

    Reply
  119. Nosa Osarenren

    August 19, 2022 at 7:30 pm

    I love how your writing are so easy to read. I tell myself I’m too busy to read all these words at the moment but then I read the first line and boom! I am at the last paragraph. The wright magic ✨??

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 19, 2022 at 8:47 pm

      Thank you so much. I’m grateful for your time and attention ??

      Reply
  120. Chantelle

    August 19, 2022 at 7:32 pm

    Nice one Vee?

    I think I’d just make a Questionaire next time?…No.1 question: Do you like fried plantain? ??

    Reply
  121. Musa Tariq

    August 19, 2022 at 7:53 pm

    Has my name written all over it ?,, took it this very personal,, great work Vee

    Reply
  122. Etin-osa

    August 19, 2022 at 8:26 pm

    Nice piece Chief.

    Reply
  123. Musa Daniel

    August 19, 2022 at 9:51 pm

    My favorite line has too be “imagine if they don’t like fried plantain” ? ? ?

    But I feel the reason for the context of “failed talking stage” is because we put in too much pressure and expectation into a rush of emotion and then beat ourselves up for not meeting that satisfaction in the long run.

    Anyways though, na una get power to find who to do talking stage with, I just want to make money, graduate and japa to continue my life goals

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 20, 2022 at 8:23 am

      Your second paragraph ?

      I hope you accomplish your life goals ?. Thank you for reading.

      Reply
  124. Chiamaka Amaechi

    August 20, 2022 at 7:28 am

    Yeah, not liking fried plantain is a huge red flag? What an enjoyable read❤️

    Reply
  125. Favour Imoru

    August 20, 2022 at 8:38 am

    Came across this post and decided to read through…. You’re a brilliant writer.
    I resonate with the idea of there not being failed talking stages, it wasn’t just meant to work out.

    But why will someone not like fried plantain? Like, what then do they like?

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 20, 2022 at 4:43 pm

      Thank you very much. I’m glad my idea resonates with you.

      Right? preference for fried plantain is definitely a test of character.

      Reply
  126. Omejiro

    August 22, 2022 at 10:20 am

    Amazing Write Up, I Should Go Through The Rest As Well.

    For This Talking Stage Thing,
    I Think We Should Even Start Working On Making Our pdfs On “All About Me”

    I Will Just Send It Then You Read Through, You Too Will Send Your Own, I’ll Read, Let’s Know If We Go Do Or We No Go Do?

    If Not That People Too Dey Lie? That’s Operation Zero Emoshuna Stress.

    ?Now How Can Anyone Not Even Like Dodo…. How? I thought we all want and pray for the good things of life ?
    Yet you don’t like Dodo…. issokay

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 23, 2022 at 9:04 am

      Thank you, please check them out.
      ?? Reducing emotional stress will definitely be good. I also think talking stages would be easier if we were all more honest.
      People that don’t like dodo obviously don’t know good things.

      Reply
  127. Three❤️

    August 26, 2022 at 7:29 pm

    This was a very beautiful read ❤️

    Reply
  128. Ayomide

    August 26, 2022 at 7:41 pm

    Ah yes this is the post! You see I have always wanted to write something about this. I had always wanted to define what being a man meant. What being masculine meant and it was until recently I was able to come up with a definition thanks to a book I read by Jordan B Peterson. And I have come to see how it can be easy for society is pin the hide your emotion tag on men and why the tag might have stayed for so long. This was delightful to read Victory! This for writing something this thoughtful!

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 27, 2022 at 7:41 am

      Thank you for reading ??

      It’s an unfortunate cycle that I really hope we break soon ?

      Reply
  129. Big Name

    August 26, 2022 at 7:57 pm

    Elite piece

    Reply
  130. Femi Ore-Ewi

    August 26, 2022 at 8:07 pm

    More men need to hear the message

    Reply
    • Femi Ore-Ewi

      August 26, 2022 at 8:07 pm

      Includes the society at large

      Reply
  131. Godswill

    August 26, 2022 at 8:23 pm

    This is lovely. It’s like what I say to people we’re humans before our gender.

    Reply
  132. Ibrahim A. Hassan

    August 26, 2022 at 8:49 pm

    Of course, the emotions we are talking about here are the negative ones that. e.g
    anxiety, sadness, depression etc. Like you said, whether or not men show them, they are nonetheless present.

    But what I think is the major problem with “Men cry too”, is the consequence of taking the advice. The systemic response men get after showing vulnerabilities are mostly not encouraging sadly; ranging from nonchalance to outright ridicule. Notably, this comes not only from men but also women, and which is sad, because they are those from whom men hope to get a better response, at least being those whom the society has mostly greeted their expressed emotions with empathy since forever .

    Mr Wrights, I look forward to a sequel to this article where you explore what men would want as a response to them expressing their vulnerabilities and the current state of our society on this.

    Thank you.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      August 27, 2022 at 7:59 am

      Your comment is very insightful, thank you for sharing. I think it’s a valid point you’ve raised about the reaction to these emotions not being quite as empathetic as it should be. Sadly, I think that’s owing to the fact that we still have a long way to go with regards to humanising and accepting men’s emotions. I hope it gets better ?

      Reply
  133. Precious Cole.

    August 28, 2022 at 12:29 pm

    Beautiful piece Victory.

    Reply
  134. Mojisola

    August 29, 2022 at 6:34 am

    Another enlightening read as usual❤
    And so very important, oh so very important. The ‘damage’ parts of our culture- its teachings- have done to our society, will only be repaired with time, lots of it, and conscious and deliberate relearning, I’m afraid.

    Like this here, it would take deliberate conviction on the part of each individual, to act rightly in response to the Men Cry Too movement, and the practical daily life examples. For women; to not scoff, or sneer at any general show of emotional action by men. And men; to not automatically feel all these things you listed up there- fear, unfamiliarity, and so on.
    I can’t even pretend to understand the true depths of this issue, I can only imagine, but I try to respond to it with empathy (the empathy we are acclaimed to have in abundance).

    Great work here, Victory, really❤

    Reply
  135. Obomighie Freedom

    August 29, 2022 at 7:44 am

    Nice one…very enlightening

    Reply
  136. Mercy

    August 31, 2022 at 8:36 am

    Beautiful Piece.

    Reply
  137. Uwa

    September 1, 2022 at 8:44 am

    This is a great post

    Reply
  138. Bloom Patrick

    September 24, 2022 at 2:52 pm

    This is lovely!?✨

    Reply
  139. Osamu

    September 29, 2022 at 9:51 am

    I read this poem every once in a while, I’m still not sure why. Some days I think it’s because of the title (this is my leading hypothesis), but I also find the second paragraph or stanza compelling. Maybe it’s both, who knows?

    This is a fine poem Victory.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      November 10, 2022 at 10:13 pm

      Thank you, Osamu. This poem is a favourite of mine too. I’m glad you like it ?

      Reply
  140. Osunde victory

    October 24, 2022 at 11:06 am

    This post should reach every men
    A lot of men need to read this
    Very enlightening

    Reply
  141. Charles

    November 23, 2022 at 6:44 pm

    Amazing read. The world should be more aware of this

    Reply
  142. Victoria

    December 4, 2022 at 8:25 pm

    that bit about forgiving the present self who is somehow unable to let go of the past is so relatable. I at times find myself still mad at myself over mistakes made years before but then I’m learning to let go and just forgive myself in baby steps

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      December 5, 2022 at 3:01 am

      Baby steps ?

      I’m learning too. I hope we get there soon.

      Reply
  143. VVV

    December 4, 2022 at 8:27 pm

    I guess kindness to oneself is literally the hardest but thanks for the reminder, Victory.

    Reply
  144. Zimoni

    December 4, 2022 at 9:21 pm

    I’ve missed you and your, sometimes graceful other times far from graceful, pieces. lol. I enjoyed reading this and it made me feel better.

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      December 5, 2022 at 3:02 am

      I’m glad it made you feel better ?

      Apologies for not being very consistent lately. A lot has been happening.

      Reply
  145. Essie

    January 7, 2023 at 7:58 am

    the part where you said time is only a construct struck a chord in me. i also didn’t feel that my year ended on a final note, but here’s to more favorable conditions for the new year for us all!

    Reply
    • Victory Okoyomoh

      January 7, 2023 at 10:15 am

      I’m glad you could relate. Cheers to a more favourable new year ?

      Reply
  146. Rubie Patrick

    January 7, 2023 at 8:31 am

    Jajajajajajajaja

    Reply